I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sext me about skeletons
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
