I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Success! We fucked roommates!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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