Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
