we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
