i just had sex bonerless
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Enjoy the penises
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
