we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
