This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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