After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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