just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
