I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
