why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Randomize
