We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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