so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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