I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Damn victory sex feels great
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
