He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
