I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
