I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
