Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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