god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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