Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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