There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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