I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
