Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
