I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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