are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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