"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
