thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
