Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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