I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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