I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize