I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
