god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
