I wannas sexs uuuuu
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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