so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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