so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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