Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
