if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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