There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
