I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
