my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They took my balls.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
