I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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