So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
