It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
