The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
did i walk over a car last night?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
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