I think i peed on brittanys purse
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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