It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
