Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
