Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
