After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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