I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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