Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
