that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
