i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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