A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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