Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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