We won't sleep together?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
