You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
