is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
