why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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