So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
