This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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