On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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