youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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