Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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